Parenting Your Negative Child
Children with extremes in negative temperament always seem to be in a bad mood. Their constant complaints and apparent unhappiness can wear on a parent. It's easy to fall into a pattern of negative interactions with this child. You have to develop coping strategies that work for you and your child to manage his negative outlook, so that you can teach him appreciation for the small joys in everyday life. A good way to cope with a negative temperament is to take a four-prong approach.
Ignore Some Bad Moods
When you don't react to his negativity, you move forward in extinguishing negative behaviors. You don't ignore the child when he's in a bad mood; you ignore the mood. An attitude that conveys acceptance of your child, negative temperament and all, will keep your relationship intact and allow you to influence his positive development.
Identify the Underlying Needs
You'll soon learn your child's patterns of negative moods.
Often, it's worse in the morning, or right after school. He's vulnerable to irritability when he's tired or hungry. New situations are bound to elicit a negative reaction. Social interactions at school and play groups are strained or conflicted. He wants your attention, and whining is his strategy for getting it. When you address his underlying needs for physical well being; structure and regularity in daily life; planning for new situations; social development; and positive attention from you, your child will develop the ability to moderate his negative moods.
Confront Negativity
Don't allow your child to escalate his mood, or control the family atmosphere with constant complaining and negative reactions. Confront irrational statements, or point out the positive aspects of a situation. If he doesn't come around, use a simple 'That's enough, I understand that you feel that way, but . . . ' Move on with your activities and let him know that the subject is closed.
Teach Positive Behavior
Though asking a child with a negative temperament to develop a cheerful, positive attitude is a tall order, you can help him learn to act positively even when he's not too happy about it! Encourage him to make a positive effort when his first reaction is negative. Guide him to make amends when he has damaged a social relationship with his negative attitude. Help him develop hobbies and interests that he enjoys, and that provide relief or calming of a negative mood. Give him choices between two options even when he's not happy about either. Show him lots of affection and love so that he will learn to share the same. Share your joy and thankfulness with and for him to provide a model for living that will allow him to overcome his challenging temperament.
Ignore Some Bad Moods
When you don't react to his negativity, you move forward in extinguishing negative behaviors. You don't ignore the child when he's in a bad mood; you ignore the mood. An attitude that conveys acceptance of your child, negative temperament and all, will keep your relationship intact and allow you to influence his positive development.
Identify the Underlying Needs
You'll soon learn your child's patterns of negative moods.
Often, it's worse in the morning, or right after school. He's vulnerable to irritability when he's tired or hungry. New situations are bound to elicit a negative reaction. Social interactions at school and play groups are strained or conflicted. He wants your attention, and whining is his strategy for getting it. When you address his underlying needs for physical well being; structure and regularity in daily life; planning for new situations; social development; and positive attention from you, your child will develop the ability to moderate his negative moods.
Confront Negativity
Don't allow your child to escalate his mood, or control the family atmosphere with constant complaining and negative reactions. Confront irrational statements, or point out the positive aspects of a situation. If he doesn't come around, use a simple 'That's enough, I understand that you feel that way, but . . . ' Move on with your activities and let him know that the subject is closed.
Teach Positive Behavior
Though asking a child with a negative temperament to develop a cheerful, positive attitude is a tall order, you can help him learn to act positively even when he's not too happy about it! Encourage him to make a positive effort when his first reaction is negative. Guide him to make amends when he has damaged a social relationship with his negative attitude. Help him develop hobbies and interests that he enjoys, and that provide relief or calming of a negative mood. Give him choices between two options even when he's not happy about either. Show him lots of affection and love so that he will learn to share the same. Share your joy and thankfulness with and for him to provide a model for living that will allow him to overcome his challenging temperament.
Labels:
Parenting
Blog Archive
-
2008
(77)
-
Juni(77)
- Shake It Up: Alternative Meeting Strategies
- Firing and the Law
- Five Myths of Managing Up
- Self Confidence
- Low Self Esteem
- Learning Self confidence
- How panic attacks spread
- The Secret Of Success
- Getting to know ‘you’
- Public Speaking
- Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature
- 9 Basic Human Needs for Good Mental Health and Emo...
- How to understand what your dreams mean
- Hypnosis for Success
- How hypnosis can build self confidence
- Worry your way to a solution
- Learn to worry well and benefit from stress
- How to quit smoking
- Telecommuting Has Mostly Positive Consequences For...
- Clear the clutter
- Train your brain
- Roll the dice to relieve the monotony
- Breathing for health - Noise removal breathing
- When We Are Fools to Ourselves
- Schopenhauer’s Extreme Self-Help for Pessimists
- What is Happiness?
- Examining Human Behaviour: Learn About Quandaries
- Mental Self-Defense Strategies
- 37 Stress Management Tips
- Psychology - The Study of the Human Mind
- 101 ways to cope with stress
- What is Forensic Psychology? It’s Not Silence of t...
- Psychology Degrees
- Exercise Elevates Mood - Until And Unless You Stop
- Experiences Beat Possessions: Why Materialism Caus...
- 7 Tips for dealing with confrontation
- Remember your dreams
- The art of listening
- 90 minute sleep cycle for a better life
- How to Get Your Child to Do What You Ask - The Fir...
- Child Discipline Series
- The Twelve Disciplinary Elements
- Provide Related, Respectful, and Reasonable Conseq...
- Seven Ways to Discipline Effectively
- Be Reasonable, Gentle, and Firm
- The Three Times Rule
- Ain't Misbehavin': Discipline Tactics That Work!
- How to Be More Consistent with Your Children
- How to Punish Without Punishing Yourself
- Be a better partner
- Solutions to Parents' Top Discipline Problems
- Using Punishments Effectively (2)
- Using Punishments Effectively (1)
- Your One-Year-Old: Beginning Discipline (2)
- Your One-Year-Old: Beginning Discipline (1)
- Disciplining Your Toddler
- Should Toddlers Ever Be Punished?
- Disciplinary Techniques That Work for Toddlers and...
- Disciplinary Techniques That Work for Toddlers and...
- Disciplinary Techniques That Work for Toddlers and...
- Disciplining Your Toddler: Put the Brakes on Aggre...
- Ten Questions to Ask Before You Punish
- Effective Punishment
- "Counting Out": An Easy Technique to Reduce Bad Be...
- The Basics of Discipline
- Good Kids, Bad Behavior
- Parenting Your Negative Child
- Letting Go of a Relationship That Stresses You (3)
- Letting Go of a Relationship That Stresses You (2)
- Letting Go of a Relationship That Stresses You (1)
- Stress and Family Life
- What if your child doesn't do what you tell him? T...
- Child Discipline Series
- The Big List of Consequences
- When Parents Disagree about Discipline
- Parenting Traps
- Spending Time with Children
-
Juni(77)