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Another common idea about confidence is that you are either born with it, or not. Things you hear are “I’m just not a confident person” or “People who are super-confident are just lucky”. This is obviously untrue, as anyone knows who has seen a friend or colleague grow in confidence. Confidence is a way of approaching things, and it can be learned.

Catch 22?

Now obviously, what builds our confidence in the long-term is doing things that we are a bit scared of and surprising ourselves with our abilities. So is this a no-win situation? If we can’t do the things that we need to feel confident, how can we grow in confidence? Well, we can learn the strategies, approaches and thinking of confident people and, perhaps most importantly, how to mentally prepare ourselves for new or frightening events. Once we do this, it’s like rolling a snowball down a hill. The things that made us under-confident no longer do and we feel more able to tackle bigger things, which in turn raises our confidence levels.

What can I do to be more confident?

If you truly want to be more confident, you can learn how. How long it will take before you are as confident as you want to be depends on what stage you are at now. Very under-confident people are more likely to notice a difference most quickly when they learn how to be more confident. Those who need more confidence for particular situations only may only notice the difference when they go back into that situation.

Above all, to become more confident, we have to do something. It’s one thing thinking different, but that’s only one part of the picture.