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The topic of child discipline causes heated arguments on 'Net discussion boards, as the proponents of spanking clash with those who are completely opposed. The fact is, child discipline is an important and emotional issue for us. We worry about our child's misbehavior and how we should handle it. We become angry and frustrated with ongoing behavior problems. We dislike having to punish our children.

The majority of us need to learn ways to discipline our children. Effective discipline helps our child develop empathy and self-control. A spoiled or harshly-disciplined child is at risk for numerous emotional and behavioral problems. One new approach or discipline strategy can change the course of our child's development, and our relationship with him.

Children are different and so are parents.

As you explore the discipline principles here, you should choose the strategies that fit for your family. Take the risk to try something new. As your child grows, remember these basic principles underlying the variety of discipline strategies you will use.
Good child discipline begins with attachment.

Attachment begins when the child is an infant. If your child has a problem with attachment from infancy, you likely need professional help and lots of support to overcome her behavior problems. To continue good attachment parenting through the elementary years, see these tips on Attachment Parenting of Older Children.

Good child discipline shows respect for the child and the parent.

Discipline techniques that belittle or shame a child are truly harmful. If your relationship with your child has become a power struggle, then control, not discipline, has become your goal. Defuse this toxic relationship with good listening skills. Show respect for your child's feelings and thoughts, while standing firm on your expectations for good behavior. Respect for parents and other authorities is crucial to self-discipline and healthy development. Help your child learn respect for authority by making your own words and actions as a parent worthy of respect.

Good child discipline changes as the child grows.

When discipline doesn't seem to be working for your family, you want to step back and look again at the problem. The first step is to learn what is normal behavior for your child's age and stage of development. Parental expectations may be beyond what the child is able to achieve on a consistent basis. I recommend the Gesell Institute Child Development Series of paperbacks that describe a wide range of normal behaviors for each age of childhood. They will likely ease your mind about a difficult behavior your child is exhibiting, and give you clues to resolving the problem. You can find a brief synopsis of normal development for ages five through nine, or order these great books for yourself.

• The Five Year Old Child - A Psychological Profile
• The Six Year Old Child - A Psychological Profile
• The Seven Year Old Child - A Psychological Profile
• The Eight Year Old Child - A Psychological Profile
• The Nine Year Old Child - A Psychological Profile
• Good child discipline requires good family communication.

Giving instructions and consequences, planning for good behavior, listening to your child, holding family meetings, and resolving conflict are just a few of the opportunities parents have to encourage self-discipline and maintain good family relationships. When confronting a problem, your style of communication will help or hinder a successful resolution. Learn how to communicate effectively with your child with these quick How Tos:

• How to Listen to Your Child
• How to Praise Your Child
• How to Give Instructions to Your Child
• How to Give Consequences to Your Child
• How to Hold a Family Meeting
• How to Resolve Family Conflict
• How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem