What if your child doesn't do what you tell him? This is a critical point, and how you handle it can make or break your discipline effectiveness early
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 15 minutes
Here's How:
- Stop and decide what you want your child to do.
- Get the child's attention. Move closer to him or call him to come to you. Make direct eye contact.
- Tell him what to do directly and firmly. Don't ask, though you may offer a choice if you wish. Don't end your instruction with "OK?"
- Don't let him sidetrack you with whining, excuses, or arguing. Restate your instructions one more time if necessary then watch to make sure he begins.
- Praise him when he does the task quickly and well. "You did a good job with those dishes."
- If he doesn't begin doing what you said or doesn't finish, say: "What did I tell you to do?" When he answers correctly, say, "Good, now do it."
- If he doesn't do it, then Stop the World. He doesn't do another thing until he does what you told him to do.
- Decide the consequence you will impose and go to the child to warn him of the consequence.
- Move closer to him than normal, conversational distance. Make direct prolonged eye contact and tell him the consequence of not doing what you asked.
- Give him the opportunity to complete the task now. When he does, praise him.
- If he still doesn't comply, send him to "Siberia" - to his room to cool off while you do the same.
- Go into his room and tell him that the consequence you stated earlier is now in effect - grounding, no TV, extra chore, removal of privilege.
- Do not let him return to the family group until he has completed the original task that you gave him.
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Parenting
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